Many years ago I underwent the most challenging and enriching time of my life. From the outside it can be looked at trough the lens of psychosis. However, the experiences where far too rich and extraordinary to be seen trough that lens alone.

The past years I have written many personal notes and journals about the experiences and the insight that followed it. I have postponed writing for public/others for a long long time. Partly because I'm not good at writing and can't seem to find the right format. Thus most of these writings are still in a note-like form.

To have written whilst my pen was still influenced vividly by past experiences and states. To have waited this long, feeling more grounded, but that this vividness of state and insight has found it's way downwards as wel.

In any case these notes/writings are my real life experiences. These experiences started with an abrupt stumbling, with no prior knowledge, no vocabulary, no map, into different states. Trying to navigate, to find a grip, to make sense of it with my own mind and intuition.

I am grateful for the support of my family, sister and brother in law gave me. They allowed me being different, which was a tremendous help for finding footing and to navigate my own way back into stability.

For me, psychosis is when a person lose contact with reality, this reality.