Many years ago, I went through the most challenging and enriching time of my life. From the outside, it could be looked at through the lens of psychosis; however, the experiences were far too rich and extraordinary to be seen through that lens alone.

For me, psychosis is when I lose contact with this shared reality. My experience began with an abrupt stumbling—with no prior knowledge, no vocabulary, and no map—into different states of being and beyond ordinary experiences. I had to navigate, find a grip, and make sense of it all using only my own wits & intuition.

I have postponed sharing and writing for others for many years. Partly because I am not good at writing, and because I struggled to find the right format to communicate. Most of these reflections remain in their original, "note-like" form—captured while my pen was still vividly influenced by the states I was in. Waiting for so long to share my experiences made me feel more grounded to do so, but with that waiting the vividness and details of those memories found their way "downwards" as wel.

I am deeply grateful for the support my family, my sister, and my brother-in-law gave me. They allowed me the space to be different, which was a tremendous help in finding my footing and navigating my own way back to stability.